Healthcare

Be Quiet Please I have Something to Say

/ diggingher / 5 Comments

Do you ever feel  that you are the only person who thinks the way you do?

I often find myself silently pondering this very idea. Not too long ago when I was dwelling on this idea the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me that I don’t think like those in the world…my mind is being renewed with the thoughts of Christ.

Hmmm, a familiar verse indeed and one that spoke truth to me at the time. Often when I find myself in the place that reveals my thoughts to be different from those in the world I do not speak up–I consider this the power of discernment–knowing when to speak and when not to is a valuable lesson, one that I was not always mindful of. The circumstances were different in a recent meeting however and I felt the prompting of the Lord to share a perspective that the group needed to hear.

The group consisted of a number of my colleagues, nurses, social workers and other closely related providers of the team. The topic being discussed was the boundaries of the professionals as it pertains to interacting with patients. The “issue” being explored was the  decision of one of the group to go to a patient home to inform him of an upcoming  chemotherapy appointment that he was not aware of.  The patient was known to have many barriers to care, including only having a pay as you go cell phone. I should mention here that one of the primary functions of my role as a nurse navigator is to identify and overcome barriers to care. Well my colleague decided that she would make an “unauthorized” home visit and tell this person of his upcoming appointment. Her decision was not embraced by the administration.(Point #1 of thinking differently than the rest of the world)

The discussion that ensued eventually came around to caregivers, i.e. “the group” attending personal events of a patient, like celebrations and funerals. There was quite a bit of dialogue around the table. Many of the group felt that attending these events blurred the lines of professionalism, who were they attending the event as, the nurse/social worker or as a friend? Still others believed that this simply oversteps an unstated boundary.(Point #2 of thinking differently than the rest of the world)

As I usually do I sat quietly absorbing this conversation and asked, do I speak up or keep silent? The answer I received was to speak up. And so I did.

I entered this profession to provide health care to human beings. This meant showing compassion and mercy towards those that need it. It however doesn’t stop there, at the door. I went on to share with the group that when I have been invited to attend a celebration of some sort by a person I have had the privilege of caring for, I received the invitation with honor. As caregivers we help people in what is often their darkest hour overcome fear and pain creating a unique and treasured bond. Why should I not attend a special event that represents so much to the person? And if the person has extended an invitation to me how would they feel if I didn’t attend? And on those all to often occasions when a person I have provided loving care for leaves this life and enters into eternity should I spare myself the burden of attending the funeral service and forsake the opportunity for closure for me and the family?

Thankfully I have discovered that when I separate myself from these experiences, I cannot possibly be all that I am created to be in that moment–living life authentically and fulfilled.

I have long since come to appreciate that if the Lord has you share something it is to be done if faith–act as the mailman and expect nothing in return. In practice this can be difficult though as affirmation is often a much needed component to our life of obedience. On this occasion the Lord sent a special someone to tell me how much my sharing was appreciated. Oh the JOY!

Meet Grace

/ diggingher / 8 Comments

Last year I attended several photography classes in which the instructor would give us an assignment and we would interpret using photographs. On the particular class we were to photograph someone into who’s soul we could see. What follows is the narrative that preceded the photograph’s I shared with the other participants. I must give full disclosure by telling you that there was not a dry eye in the house by the time I completed the story. I hope you enjoy.

February 2, 2012

In my role as breast nurse navigator I am in a unique position to meet and minister to many women and families who are in a trying and vulnerable season of life. I am often extremely impacted emotionally and spiritually by the struggles, fear and pain that I witness and must provide support through. I have felt a deep stirring over these past couple of months as I struggle with the injustice of this life altering disease.

It was during a time of prayer and fasting that I began to sense a bud of an idea. Cancer care is inclusive of what is known as complimentary medicine; the use of eastern medicine as well as the arts to restore the WHOLE person to health. We are after-all composed of mind, body and spirit. I believe that God wants me to act as an agent to aid in the healing process. This assignment gave be the motivation I needed to move to the next level.

Let me introduce Grace. We met my first week on the job; the first patient at my hospital to be navigated through breast cancer care. Early August she underwent the first surgical procedure to remove the cancer from her body. The day we took this photo she was receiving her last dose of chemotherapy medication…we are two-thirds of the way complete.

I asked Grace to answer a couple of questions if she was comfortable. What I will share with you next is her response which is being shared with her permission.

Me: I was wondering what your thoughts are about how cancer has changed YOU. I know how it has changed your life at least on the physical level but how has it changed you…your thoughts, the way you interact with the world, people, God. Is there something that you have learned during this time that you will never forget?

Grace:First of all I never thought about death. I was always on survival mode.  When I was just diagnosed I was sad for my kids; in my head I was ruining their life; they couldn’t lose their mother yet, they are momma’s boys and they are too young (14, 23 and 28). I would not allow myself to mess up their life. I needed to do everything without them; including them but without them being present; what if anything went wrong and they saw me suffering? No, no it couldn’t happen.

I decided to reach out to the women in my life; they would understand and sympathize with me in a different way.  I created two closed groups in Facebook, one named girlfriends and one named amigas for the ones that spoke Spanish. It was a hit! I was an inspiration for them and I was able to share very openly how I felt. They shared my fears, my inside battles and my little by little accomplishments. They made me feel so loved.

In the dark side some people I thought they were close friends disappeared from my life; people that I bent backwards for them so many times; may be they were scared, may be they were not who I thought they were.

Cancer taught me to be wiser in my choices.

Cancer brought me closer to God; showed me that miracles happen every day.

 I need to share this with you.  When I was 17 years old I fell in love with a boy and for some strange reason we got separated. He married, I married, and we never forgot each other.  Technology brought us together.  This year right after my surgery and 1 day before my birthday he found me in Facebook; it was some happiness in my life much needed and unexpected. He lives in Argentina (where I’m originally from) and he is very active in the Catholic Church; I told him about my cancer and somehow he convinced me that with prayer my cancer was gonna be gone; God was going to help me.

Here is the miracle- one day out of the blue he told me that I should go to church and find out when they have a special mass for the sick people.  I said ok I will go tomorrow to find out; that was in the morning something inside me made me go the same day to check; well my friend the mass that is held for the sick people and is only once a year was that same day; I couldn’t stop crying……..I knew at that point God wanted that for me………I went by myself and I cried my eyes out; I felt so blessed…….. The same guy from Argentina said to me ‘you know one day you’ll be able to share this miracle in front of people and I said yes I told my kids and I told Steve and he said no I went to church today and I got that message from God that you will be standing in front of people and you are going to be giving your testimony’. Now Paige I think your project make my miracle/message complete.

What did I learn during this time?

I learned to be more patient; I learned to give thanks every day for another day;  I learned that I was chosen to fight this cancer battle was because I was strong enough to make it through;  I learned there is people around me who love me unconditionally;  I learned to reach out in order to heal; I learned a life lesson. 

I never said ‘why me?’.  Instead I said thank God it’s me with cancer and no one of my dearest.  I can make it!  I will make it!

Thank you Paige for giving me an opportunity to share this with you!

Thank you for showing up in my life when I needed a hand and helped me walk though!

Love you Paige!!!!!!!

As with every other adventure I have been on when the Spirit is leading I have learned that the Divine Healer uses power to heal me while I am working to heal others…

Here is beautiful Grace on the last day of her chemo treatment. I met her to give her a Victory Rose which is pictured. Grace has passed the one year mark since her diagnosis of breast cancer. Even though her treatment is complete, the fear never really leaves.

Grace and her Victory Rose

Grace and her Victory Rose

A Winning Smile

The Walls around Haiti

/ diggingher / 1 Comment

In my blog hopping I recently discovered  No Fixed Plans who led me to Where’s my Backpack(don’t you just love how one click opens us up to such a bigger space?) Anyway, Where’s my Backpack hosts a travel theme challenge.  Travel Walls was a theme recently and even though I am a little late to the party I couldn’t resist sharing a couple of my snaps.

These were taken one year post quake in the small Haitian village of Milot. I have had the great privilege of serving these people on two occasions. The Haitian people of very expressive with paint. The wall from the compound where we slept, running up to the hospital was transformed with paintings as seen through the eyes of the Haitian people after the devastating earthquake in 2010.

The big quake in Haiti as seen in the eyes of the Haitian people

The big quake in Haiti as seen in the eyes of the Haitian people

Local hospital receives many quake victims–one year later the community remembers.

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Lessons in the life of a Nurse

/ diggingher / 7 Comments

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I met Karol a few weeks ago. She had been admitted for some medical complications secondary to her metastatic breast cancer; that means the cancer has spend to other organs beyond the origins of the primary cancer. Karol was a woman in her early 60’s, she was easy to talk to and  quick to share stories about who she was and her life. We talked for a while in her hospital room about her travels and her love of books. Her husband had passed into Eternity 8 years ago but Karol had many friends so although childless, she was not alone in life. She was quite happy.

The plan on for Karol on the day we first met was for her likely discharge over the weekend. I would call her in a week or two following her discharge to home. I returned to work on Monday to find that Karol hadn’t gone home, in fact her condition had deteriorated and she needed to be moved to the cardiac step-down unit. I to visit her later that day. Her sister Kathy had just flown in from Florida to spend sometime with her…even thought Karol told her not to come. As Karol dozed in her bed, I could see the look of concern in her sister’s face. I could understand her feelings, Karol looked much sicker than when we talked last week, her skin was clearly jaundiced and she needed oxygen.

As the week progressed it became evident that Karol’s condition was deteriorating, she was dying. She stabilized enough to be moved back to the oncology floor, which in my opinion is a more peaceful unit.

I went to visit Karol later that day. She told me that she awoke early that morning and asked herself, “is this the day that I should let go”? I asked Karol if she believed if we have the power to decide on when we die. Yes she replied, don’t you. I have been with people who hold on in this life until a particular family member arrives, sometimes I see people seemingly wait to let go until their loved ones leave the room…did I believe that we could decide when we die? No I don’t think we have that power, I have witnessed too much needless suffering to believe this to be true.

Her phone rang. I could hear her on the phone with friends, who were obviously full of sorrow and crying while talking with her. During that conversation she spent much of the time comforting those who would be left behind after she departed this life. This I told her is a phenomenon I frequently witness; the dying comforting the living. Karol was completely at ease with her impending death. She told me that she wasn’t afraid to die and was at peace. I shared that I believed that peace was a result of living a life that was free of unforgiveness. Yes, she agreed this was true.

I left her room that afternoon. I didn’t talk with Karol again, the next time I went to see her she was unconscious, moving closer to Eternity. Her sister was at her side, friends came and went. Karol left this life peacefully later that day.

We have much to learn from those who are dying. I am most thankful for the time I spent with Karol. I do hope and pray that someday soon we will be even further along in our fight against cancer…in the meantime I continue to reach out in kindness.

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The Cost of Care

/ diggingher / 4 Comments

I really like the new reader page over on WordPress.com main page…I have discovered many new blogs using the category search for topics I am interested in. My searching left me wondering something about my own writing though. Way back in my early writing I shared a post about my vocational call to nursing. I close that post stating that being a nurse is really the at the core of my authentic self. What I have been pondering is why I have written so few posts on healthcare and nursing. While I do not have an answer to my question, I have decided to write on this topic today.

Should Hope have a Price Tag?

Should Hope have a Price Tag?

As with so many books that get added to my reading shelf something in the books   description captured my eye. Most likely the fact that the author, a lifetime & well known journalist, penned a book on two topics near and dear to my heart too. Cancer and the cost of healthcare. The book is really a love story and the lives of Terence and Amanda would have remained unknown and unnamed had it not been for his terminal diagnosis of kidney cancer. They live an adventurous life. Her journalism career and his love of learning brings creates a grand backdrop for the novel.

It is always insightful for me, the oncology nurse, to climb inside the patient’s perspective. To hear how confusing our healthcare system is for people, hence the need for nurse navigators(the role I have been carving out since August 2011). But it is more than that. She writes about the huge swings in costs she discovered as she researched for the book after Terence’s death. In the seven years he was ill, they lived in four different states and had four different health insurance policies as a result of her job changes. Each insurance contract has a different negotiated rate for the SAME test. The hospital or other facility gets paid based on those negotiated rates. And if you happen to be one of the unfortunate American who are uninsured you will pay the entire cost–kind of like the sticker price on a new car–the better someone negotiates, the less money s/he can expect to pay.

Sadly, we in the US do not even know what all this care really costs. If you walk into the dry cleaners and want to have your shirt cleaned, at least in Connecticut where I reside, a sign must be posted disclosing the cost for such a service. In my husband’s automotive shop a huge sign hangs indicating the cost of  hourly labor. In addition service he is responsible for calling the customer and discussing a quote before proceeding with the suggested repairs. Yet I walked into the Ear, Nose and Throat doctors office for an exam. No sign hanging. I was however asked for my insurance card. A month and a half later I received a bill in the mail for $685.00; the amount I would be responsible for paying after my High Deductible insurance plan reduced the charges based on the “negotiated” rate. I have got to tell you I find this amount preposterous! I was sitting in the exam chair for about 15 minutes. There was no prior disclosure. Whoa…wait a minute…does anyone out there beside me think there is something wrong here?

We met a woman last week who offered to send us a health insurance quote for one of our young adult children who is presently uninsured. In her email with the quote she tells us that the preventative care is FREE! I respond back–that care is NOT FREE–it comes with a cost.

Thanks dear readers for listening to my rant. If you reside in the US I would urge you to give consideration to my writing. Our consumption of health coupled with our unhealthy lifestyle and our desire to live forever(well maybe not forever but we certainly have a hard time excepting death) is going to bankrupt our nation.